"And that night, when I came back to Hogwarts, it was you who greeted me here, Professor..."
As he came, the sky was snowbound; as he went, he was clad in stardust. Amostasto stopped and looked at Snape standing below the statue of a wild boar that had stood for centuries by the great gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with a smile on his face.
"Then what?" Snape stood up straight, sneering. "Do you expect anyone to throw you a grand farewell banquet, Amostasta?"
Amostasto smiled but said nothing, the two of them basking in the pleasant breeze under the brilliant galaxy. They gazed at the ancient castle standing on the high ground, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where Hagrid's cabin's light remained lit indefinitely. The vast playground was expansive, with the breeze blowing through tall goalposts, emitting joyful whispers. Amostasto was momentarily absent-minded, as if he truly saw 'eternity' existent.
"Have you been working for Headmaster Dumbledore all this time?"
It was absurd to expect the taciturn Snape to volunteer anything in private, but Amostasto spoke first, and his question was quite odd. Ever since Voldemort fell, Snape had been the Professor of Potions at Hogwarts, theoretically working for Dumbledore all along.
However, Snape clearly knew that Amostasto's question was not what he had in mind. He answered with a slight nasal tone, indicating affirmation.
Amostasto's lips twisted into a bitter smile, and he shook his head, gesturing towards the eighth-floor office that still shone with candlelight.
"Why?"
Snape's eyes were no longer the pitch black they had been, but instead were filled with a palpable confusion. As he cast his gaze over the great school, its every plant and tree, his thoughts went back to the depths of his mind, where memories that had once been so vivid now seemed to explode like a volcano within him.
Pain, helplessness, despair, hatred...
Snape could not express the emotions he was feeling. There was an urge within him to confide all his secrets to the outstanding young person by his side, who he had witnessed grow up. But as the words reached his lips, not even a sigh remained.
"For redemption..."
After a long silence, Snape spoke in a calm voice. It was the first time since Dumbledore that Snape had stripped away the enchantments and defenses of magic and mind, revealing his most authentic self to himself.
Amostasto gazed at the starry sky, like the sands of the Ganges, and heard Professor Snape's reply. He was not surprised. Human emotions might be the most complex things in the world, and to expect that cold magic could perfectly conceal one's soul is laughable.
"I have some experience with... life..."
Amostasto's sudden words caught Snape off guard and made him instinctively want to show mockery. He wanted to remind Amostasto of the age gap between them, but his eyes fell on the lavender orbs that seemed to glow faintly. Snape suddenly froze, not knowing why the eyes of a young man in his late twenties would suddenly seem so... worn?
"I have experienced the turning of the world..."
Amostasto's soft-spoken words made Snape even more confused. He stared at him blankly, not knowing how to interpret those words. Perhaps... Amostasto was trying to express that from the mundane world into the mysterious magical world?
Amostasto closed his eyes wearily, and after a moment, he opened them again. His troubled soul had found peace.
"I have seen the darkest, most selfish side of the human heart, and I have also basked in the pure light emitted by souls without blemish, Severus. Life is but once for everyone..."
Snape had never heard Amostasto address him by his name before, but oddly enough, he felt no offense or discomfort in it. Instead, it felt quite natural, and this strange sensation made him even overlook what Amostasto was saying.
"Those painful pasts should not be chains that hold us back, and those who gave their lives to protect us would not want to see us burdened by pain and immersed in memories. Severus, isn't it more fitting to live well than to seek redemption? The sacrifices of those who have gone before you are far more important than any sense of obligation you might feel."
"You don't know what I've been through, Amostasto..."
Snape's appearance was heart-wrenching, as if he had been through the worst of human suffering. His voice was hoarse, like that of an explorer lost in the desert, howling in desperation.
"There are many people in the world who have lost everything, Severus. The dead are gone, and what is lost will never return. Don't let yourself be weighed down by guilt and hate..."
Amostasto looked once again towards the office on the eighth floor of the castle, then smiled suddenly.
"Do you think a wizard like Dumbledore has experienced countless heart-wrenching losses in his lifetime, huh?"
"I am not him, Amostasto..."
Snape's breathing was more like sobbing, and he looked down, his tone as if he were defending himself, yet also as if he were trying to persuade himself.
"Great Dumbledore, all-powerful Dumbledore... everyone admires him, and I, just an ordinary person..."
Sometimes, Amostasto felt quite frustrated with the existence of Dumbledore. On one hand, he acknowledged the indelible contributions Dumbledore had made to the peace and stability of the European magical community throughout his life. On the other hand, he felt that Dumbledore was like a mountain looming over every witch and wizard in the contemporary magical world, suppressing any thought of rebellion or exceeding expectations.
In a sense, Dumbledore's presence itself seemed to limit the development of the magical world.
Like the Xifu Luo in front of us, he often expressed his dislike of Dumbledore in private, with a rebellious attitude, but when facing his inner thoughts, he almost instinctively believed that Dumbledore was unparalleled by mortals, both in magical strength and wisdom.
It takes a day and a night to freeze three feet of ice.
Amostasto was not naive enough to think he could convince Xifu Luo to let go of his twenty-year-old grudge. He merely hoped... to plant a seed in the heart of this man who should be loved and embraced by the world, a seed that, at the right moment, would take root, sprout, and bear fragrant, pleasing fruit.
"Then, so be it, Professor Snape."
The twilight aura that had enveloped Amostasto was gone. Now, he was once again the excellent young wizard who possessed both 'strength and beauty' and harbored an endless longing for the future.
Snape also knew that the conversation was drawing to a close. Reason, hard and slowly, began to reclaim control over his mind. His lips trembled as he tried to utter some parting words, but unfortunately, he was clearly not as skilled at the art of sentimentality as he was at brewing potions. Before he could come up with anything to say, he saw Amostasto open his suitcase and pull out a stack of thick vellum papers and hand them in front of him.
"Some minor scandal about Gilderoy Lockhart that I discovered by accident--"
As Amostasto observed Snape looking over the information, his brow tightening more and more, he lightened his tone and smiled at the corners of his mouth,
"I hope you'll wait until the little wizards' end-of-term exams are over before you report to Dumbledore... or, if you prefer, you can hand it directly to the Ministry of Magic as well."
Clang!
The heavy iron gates of Hogwarts clanged shut with a resounding clang.
The evening breeze sings, coming alone, leaving alone.
"Goodbye, Professor Snape, I wish you happiness in your life--"
Amostasto waved his hand goodbye and turned away, striding into the boundless darkness without a backward glance...
P.S.: Off I go, Hogwarts!
